Better Relationships, Better Life
Day 8: Patience = Resistance to Annoyance - Better Relationships, Better Life
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Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:1-2 And now we are ready to complete our better relationships wardrobe with the virtue of patience. This may be the hardest one to put on in our fast-paced, need-it-now culture. We have become used to microwaved meals, instant downloads, same-day shipping, and immediate Google answers. When we want (or need) something, we want it now. Yet what’s good for Amazon doesn’t build better relationships with family and friends. Insisting that you need to have things your way and to have them immediately creates friction. Rather we must intentionally seek to clothe ourselves in patience, waiting without complaint. Jesus modelled this virtue in his interactions with his disciples. They often missed the point of his teachings or were too focused on mundane concerns. Yet he continued to work with them, to teach them, and to pray for them. Perhaps you’re thinking that patience is just something you are born with (or without) and you can’t really change it. While we all vary in our innate levels of tolerance, we can learn to be more patient. Here are 3 tips for growing in patience: 1. Leave room in your schedule & budget for the unexpected. Stress reduces our capacity to tolerate delays or problems. A more open schedule and budget leaves room for flexibility and a calm response to life’s little mishaps. 2. Make “patient” your resting state. Have you ever walked into a co-worker’s office to ask her a question and she gives you THAT look? You know, the “I’ve had all I can take today, so you better not be bringing me a problem or more work” look? That’s the opposite of having a patient resting state. Train yourself to approach each interaction with a fresh outlook, instead of anticipating that this will be another test of your patience. 3. When you feel impatience rising, take a step back. Look for a way to distract your attention. Although it may feel like, an impatient outburst comes out of nowhere, there are often signs that it’s about to happen. I know for me the sure sign is when I start counting what has gone wrong that day or that week. If instead I refocus my attention on counting what I’m grateful, or look for humor in the situation, my patience is restored. When are you most likely to lose your patience? Which of these strategies can you use today to intentionally put on patience?
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