Day 5: The Unifying Power of Common Experiences - 31 Days: Marriage Devotionals


Scripture Focus: I urge you then, to make me completely happy by having the same thoughts, sharing the same love, and being one in soul and mind. Philippians 2:2


Here is how we grow close as a couple: We invest in each other’s happiness, we focus on positive thoughts about each other, and we speak constructively to and about each other. As we do this over time – we end up moving in the same direction, united as one.


Watch a couple that has been happily married for many years. You’ll notice that even though they are two separate people, they’ve grown closer in their perspectives, in their common interests, and in their hearts. Doing life together as a team helps us build shared memories; these common experiences bond us together more closely.


Even adversity can unify us if we experience it together, putting God first and seeking His direction in the midst of difficult times. Sandy and Chris survived the loss of his job and a gigantic reduction in income – yet came out the other side closer and deeper in their love for each other. Instead of letting the challenges divide or separate them, they spent time together in prayer, in reading Scripture, and in asking God for His help.


Sandy and Chris did not experience an amazing, miraculous change in their situation. So far they have not prospered; today their income is less than half of what it once was. Yet despite this “downward mobility” in their finances, there has been steady upward progress in the depth and quality of their marriage. They are more in love than ever.


Whether we face great difficulties or great joys, the key is to face life’s challenges together --- praying together and staying together. As we do so, the experiences we share in common begin to function as relational superglue, uniting us as one.


For your personal reflection:

  • Think about the common experiences you have shared with your spouse. 
  • Think about your favorite places, favorite foods, best memories, frequent movie quotes, and other unique features of your own relationship.
  • Can you see how the power of shared experiences can connect you more closely at heart?

Prayer: Lord, I will never ask You for adversity – or for patience. Yet whatever the situations we face as a couple, may we face them together. May we be united in our prayer life; united in seeking Your will and Your wisdom. In the future, as we look back at the years we have shared together, may we be closer and more deeply in love.

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