31 Days: Marriage Devotionals
31 Days: Marriage Devotionals
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Day 15: The Wisdom We Need Is Peaceable - 31 Days: Marriage Devotionals

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Getting Started

Getting Started

Day 1: The Destructive Power of Harmful Words

Day 1: The Destructive Power of Harmful Words

Day 2: The Constructive Power of Helpful Words

Day 2: The Constructive Power of Helpful Words

Day 3: Ceasing Our Harmful Thoughts: Time for Some Brain Surgery

Day 3: Ceasing Our Harmful Thoughts: Time for Some Brain Surgery

Day 4: Building a New Habit: The Power of Positive Thinking

Day 4: Building a New Habit: The Power of Positive Thinking

Day 5: The Unifying Power of Common Experiences

Day 5: The Unifying Power of Common Experiences

Day 6: Key to Preserving Your Marriage: Being Intentional About Your Focus

Day 6: Key to Preserving Your Marriage: Being Intentional About Your Focus

Day 7: Two Pathways to Riches: Have More or Want Less

Day 7: Two Pathways to Riches: Have More or Want Less

Day 8: Working Together in Harmony Produces Beautiful Music

Day 8: Working Together in Harmony Produces Beautiful Music

Day 9: This Honorable Estate

Day 9: This Honorable Estate

Day 10: Other Dimensions of Faithfulness: Part 1

Day 10: Other Dimensions of Faithfulness: Part 1

Day 11: Other Dimensions of Faithfulness: Part 2

Day 11: Other Dimensions of Faithfulness: Part 2

Day 12: Faithfulness: The Foundation of Trust in a Relationship

Day 12: Faithfulness: The Foundation of Trust in a Relationship

Day 13: Be Angry – Yet Do Not Sin

Day 13: Be Angry – Yet Do Not Sin

Day 14: Solve It Before the Sun Sets --- or at Least Before Bedtime

Day 14: Solve It Before the Sun Sets --- or at Least Before Bedtime

Day 15: The Wisdom We Need Is Peaceable

Day 15: The Wisdom We Need Is Peaceable

Day 16: The Wisdom We Need Is Gentle

Day 16: The Wisdom We Need Is Gentle

Day 17: The Wisdom We Need Is Willing to Yield

Day 17: The Wisdom We Need Is Willing to Yield

Day 18: The Wisdom We Need Is Full of Mercy

Day 18: The Wisdom We Need Is Full of Mercy

Day 19: The Wisdom We Need Is Without Hypocrisy

Day 19: The Wisdom We Need Is Without Hypocrisy

Day 20: What? Me Worry? Husbands Edition

Day 20: What? Me Worry? Husbands Edition

Day 21: What? Me Worry? Wives Edition

Day 21: What? Me Worry? Wives Edition

Day 22: Marriage Builder Tip: Be Patient with Each Other

Day 22: Marriage Builder Tip: Be Patient with Each Other

Day 23: Marriage Builder Tip: The Beauty of a Clean Slate

Day 23: Marriage Builder Tip: The Beauty of a Clean Slate

Day 24: Marriage Builder Tip: The Power of Perseverance

Day 24: Marriage Builder Tip: The Power of Perseverance

Day 25: Marriage Builder Tip: The Power of Prayerful Hope

Day 25: Marriage Builder Tip: The Power of Prayerful Hope

Day 26: The Destructive Power of a Restless Spirit

Day 26: The Destructive Power of a Restless Spirit

Day 27: The Contagious Power of Relentless Contentment

Day 27: The Contagious Power of Relentless Contentment

Day 28: A Quiet Life: Learning to Guard Your Privacy – and Your Partner’s Privacy

Day 28: A Quiet Life: Learning to Guard Your Privacy – and Your Partner’s Privacy

Day 29: Minding Your Own Business --- What One Young Wife Decides

Day 29: Minding Your Own Business --- What One Young Wife Decides

Day 30: Earn Your Own Living – What Does This Mean to You?

Day 30: Earn Your Own Living – What Does This Mean to You?

Day 31: Winning the Respect of Others --- Your Marriage Matters

Day 31: Winning the Respect of Others --- Your Marriage Matters

Discipleship Place
John ComstockJul 21, 2021 10:09 pm GMT

Scripture Focus: But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. James 3:17

 

Among newly married couples, there is often a great fear of conflict. A young wife may think, “If we fight, that means we’re in trouble!” Or a young husband may hold back because he has always avoided conflict.

 

Yet the absence of conflict may not mean “peace” but merely “passivity.” This is how so many decades-old marriages have lapsed into stale, unfulfilling unions. The issues that arose during the early years were never dealt with. These days the partners conduct their warfare in passive/aggressive ways, never directly stating or admitting the truth.

 

When James tells us that wisdom from above (God) is peaceable, he does not mean that we should try to be as passive as possible in our marriages. Yes, there may be times when it is wise not to say something in the moment – so that in the midst of intense conflict, you don’t escalate the battle in harmful or unhelpful ways. Yet the solution is not to keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside you, but rather to learn when and how to have candid, direct discussions with each other.

 

Peaceable wisdom expresses its thoughts and feelings, but does so at the right times and in the right ways. Peaceable wisdom always shows respect for the other person, even when the disagreement is deep or serious. Wise partners realize that no one needs to be wrong or right in a given situation; instead both persons need to listen well.

 

There is a massive difference between avoiding the issues and learning to resolve them through honest, respectful discussion which leads forward to compromise. Growing up and becoming mature means that you don’t always have to be right --- but you do always need to be wise, thoughtful, caring and willing to adjust or change.

 

For your personal reflection:

  • Do you understand the difference between “peace” and merely being “passive” when disagreements arise? 
  • Do you also understand that there’s a time and a place to resolve issues which may not be right this instant, in the heat of the battle?
  • If you are learning these things, you are growing in peaceable wisdom.
Prayer: Lord, I truly hope to become wise and I could use some help with this whole “peaceable” part. Sometimes I try too hard to win an argument; other times maybe I bottle up my feelings without finding the time and place to express them. Help me learn how to show respect for my partner, express my feelings, and resolve differences.
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