Scripture Focus: Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. Hebrews 13:4
In the aftermath of an affair, one of the most difficult challenges is trying to rebuild your trust as a couple. When one partner has been surprised by a betrayal, he or she will be hesitant to trust again, and fearful of trusting too easily.
Trust is far easier to build than to rebuild, yet the principles in either case are exactly the same. Trust doesn’t come from nowhere; it grows and thrives as a direct response to conditions in the environment of your relationship.
Faithfulness is a key foundation of trust. When you know that your partner has made faithfulness a priority and a lifestyle, you can gradually let go of your fears and begin to experience the security and safety that are meant to exist in every marriage.
Faithfulness sets, enforces, and keeps good boundaries. These boundaries can be visual in character. “My husband doesn’t look at other women,” one wife tells her Bible study group. “I’m amazed how often we’ll be out in public, and every guy in the room will scope out some female --- while my husband averts his eyes, or looks right at me.”
Faithfulness keeps good emotional boundaries. “My wife doesn’t flirt with other guys,” one husband tells us. “And if she gets even the slightest hint that a guy seems to be flirting with her, she isn’t even nice to him! She backs away emotionally and makes it very clear that she’s not interested.”
Faithfulness doesn’t mind being accountable for time and place. “I know where my husband is throughout the day,” one pastor’s wife smiles. “He texts me as he travels from one appointment to the next. I know where he’s going, how long he’ll be there, and who he’s meeting with. He keeps me ‘in the loop’ at all times.”
Faithfulness builds trust between husbands and wives. When we set good boundaries, enforce good boundaries, keep good boundaries --- our spouses can trust us. They feel safe and secure, protected by our wise behaviors.
For your personal reflection: