Finish Well - Win the Day

Please pray for me that I am Hble to stay focussed on GOD and not my problems. Father of our children is challenging custody because he doesn't want to pay child support. Our custody orders state he is not to drink alcohol or leave them unsupervised. He does BOTH of these things and even worse, allows our little ones to go swimming unsupervised. He stays at home while they walk 6 houses down to the neighbor's house. He has been asleep while the children witness a home robbery two houses down and even more horrible, he makes them stay OUTSIDE in extreme heat. When they try to come back in, he tells them they need to stay outside. I am ripped up inside over this. I put in a request for order to the judge to keep the kids myself until a hearing. He denied my request. Their father is a lawyer at the same court so I feel like he has an advantage over me and has gotten himself a lawyer to go up against me. I do not have a lawyer and cannot afford to pay for one, let alone even pay my own bills. He claims his income is a bit more than mine, since they were born, as to reduce the amount of child support he must pay. His actual income is around 120K or more a year. I went through the pandemic and paid for childcare for them to stay home (Live in Babysitter/Nanny). The cost was $1,000 a month which we split just for the remote onine learning supervision and guideance. Then I paid for her room and board, and every other expense as he would not offer any more. I am literally a ship sinking, I am exhausted, and overwhelmed and don't know where to turn since CPS apparently won't interview the kids unless it's something agregous on dad's part. I feel so helpless and I am afraid of losing a child over this. My daughter is not a good swimmer and dad is okay to let her disappear to the neighbor's pool for HOURS at a time without checking on her. Any advice and PLEASE prayers would be good right about now. They are 8 and 10 years old and he has left them home alone while he goes grocery shopping. Once he even took a nap and my son claimes he was STILL asleep at 1:00 in the morning and he got scared and made sure his sister came in and locked the doors and went to bed. I am so worried out of my mind for these little ones. He is attempting to change the custody orders so they can go the elementary school next to his home and allow them to walk home every day alone and stay at his house till he gets home. This terrifies me. So much has happened since the pandemic and I do not want our children walking home alone without an adult. Their father previously left his gun on his bed and the kids ultimately fought over it. Thanks go GOD nothing bad happened. CPS did interview this and substantiate it so I was able to block him taking them for more time since this was a huge concern for the judge but I am not allowed to use this for the upcoming court hearing since it has already been addressed. Prayers for me please, I am tired and so worried about my kid's safety and lawyers are SO expensive and I don't even have an extra penny to my name.
Worried MOMMA

Lord Jesus, there is no comparison between Your love for me and my love for those things which bring me joy. Continue to impress upon me Your everlasting love through Your Word, so that I may be reminded daily of Your promise of a far better life than this one.

Lord help us to endure the race set before us.

Great message Pastor Nat

Thank you for this message today.